Reflecting a lot about grace again these days.  In the last three days, we have yet again lost both of our waitresses, leaving us with none.  Although everything was going pretty well with our staff for about two months, suddenly one gave us 3 days notice (circumstances out of her control), and the other simply took her salary and didn't show up for work the next day (chalk that one up to just plain irresponsibility). Also, our staff is apparently all upset with us and talking behind our backs because we don't pay them how much they want, when they want, in the manner in which they want.  Oh, they were all happy to hear about a new bonus program (although I'm sure there will be some discontentment even when we do give them the extra money).  It just never seems to be enough.  Tomorrow, I (Michelle) have to go to work early even though I've been sick for two days and Curt doesn't get his rest day again because our microwave also broke so he has to get a new one. All of these circumstances, combined with the fact that we've really do care about and try to be fair to our staff, just makes me a little angry.  Now I really don't like being angry.  It feels like it can just eat me up inside and turn me into someone I know I'm not.  I can become vindictive, cold, and cunning; thinking of ways to tear down the person who angered me.  If I go this route, I may feel some sort of justice at the end of the day, but I certainly haven't gained much because my heart would still just be angry.  But, to go the harder route...  to forgive and let go of my anger, trusting that there is more to life than this small situation...  to trust that there is joy before me...  to trust that I have the freedom to move on and be ok...  to trust that love can triumph over hate; that is extremely difficult for a person with a high value of justice like me.  But in the end, it's worth it.  It is very much worth it.  "Her many sins have been forgiven- for she loved much."
 





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